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Things Shorty & Fatty Say #325: How I got chased by a pack of dogs

Posted on February 17, 2014 admin

#325

Me: *walks into room panting* Shorts… you won’t believe what just happened to me.

Shorty: What what?

Me: Ok so I was cycling around this neighborhood and minding my own business when suddenly I heard the sound of some dog barks. To the corner of my eye I saw a pack of dogs spot me and start a chase on me. Now normally when I get chased by stray dogs I just stand my ground and chase them back. Otherwise if they know you’re afraid and you run, they’ll chase you and you’ll never outrun them. But this time I was on a bicycle… and there were 3 of them… so I did whatever I thought I could do. I cycled as fast as I can.

Shorty: Hahah then?

Me: I cycled away at full speed and I was actually outrunning them and then I realized something. Right in front of me was a hill. That was bound to slow me down… but with the dogs right behind me and I just cycled as fast as I could up the hill anyway. I’ve never cycled uphill so fast before. Then to make matters worse… I saw a speed bump ahead. Again with no chance of slowing down I took the speed bump at a high speed and fortunately my bicycle took it well. Eventually the dogs stopped chasing me.

Shorty: HAHAHA.

Me: Now I’m kinda scared to go cycling around there again. In case I get chased by some stray dogs.

A few days later we were driving in a car up that very same hill.

Me: Shorts… this was the hill I was telling you about the other day. The one I had to cycle up being chased by dogs.

Shorty: Hill? What hill?

Me: Ohhh… talk big huh this Short person. You try cycle up here and see.

Shorty: HAHAHA.

——-

On a final note if you’re looking for a movie to watch these few days check out Cuak. It’s a Malaysian movie produced by one of my friends Michael Chen. It’s directed by 5 different directors 5 different scenes.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 14, 2014 admin

It’s Valentine’s Day and truth be told, Shorty and I didn’t do anything special. This morning I woke up early and headed off for some meetings. I had back to back meetings all the way till 6.30PM. Right after my meeting I had to head over to the Curve for a family dinner. Shorty was going to meet me there.

What was in my way though was the most epic traffic I’ve seen all year. I guess it’s Friday jam coupled with everyone else rushing to go out for their Valentine’s Day date but my goodness that was some glorious jam. I finally reached the curve an hour later… or actually maybe even more than an hour later.

Shorty was waiting there with Fighter and we had dinner. I was hoping Fighter would be happy to see me after a long day but I think he was angry at me. He was happily smiling at other people but when I looked at him he would look away.

I was like “C’mon Fighter… Daddy had to go work and earn money to support you ok?”.

He then gave me a glance and turned away again.

A typical family dinner of mine takes 2-3 hours so by the time I was done it was 10.30PM… then I had to fight a small traffic jam back home (I guess everyone by now had finished their dates and were rushing to go home too) and well… I got home, showered and here I am. Fresh out of my shower and blogging on my laptop while sitting on my bed.

I guess it’s no biggie. Shorty and I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day. We find it too expensive to go out and too difficult to get a reservation. If we do get it, most fancy restaurants force you to go with their set menu and I’m really picky when it comes to food so there’s always something I don’t like about set menus. Heck it’s almost the end of Valentine’s Day and I just realized that I didn’t even take a picture with Shorty today.

I did however take the picture above of Fighter today. Speaking of Fighter, I saw this news article on Fighter’s Dayre this afternoon. Heh.

Ah anyway. I have 28 minutes left to Valentine’s Day now. Fighter is asleep and Shorty is finally out of the shower so I’m going to spend whatever is left of Valentine’s Day with Shorty. See you guys. Hope you guys had a wondeful Vday.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #323, #324: Shaver

Posted on February 10, 2014 admin

First and foremost, today is Shorty’s birthday. So let me say… HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHORTY!!!

#323

Shorty and I are in the car. We come across this narrow road where cars are double parked on both sides turning two lanes into one.

Me: So inconsiderate these double-parkers!! Now it’s all jammed up.

Shorty: Yalah!

Me: I wish the cops will just come and issue summons for them all!

Shorty: I wish lightning will just zap them all.

Me: Wah that’s kinda extreme isn’t it Shorty?

Shorty: Fine then I wish there would just be nails on the sides of these roads. So you want to illegally park there… park there forever!!!

#324

We’re at a mall…

Me: Ahh I just remembered I left my shaver in Penang.

Shorty: So?

Me: Maybe I should go buy another shaver.

Shorty: Ok.

Me: Or maybe I’ll just ask my brother to bring it back for me. Don’t want to waste money buy another shaver. What would I do with two shavers anyway.

Shorty: Fine…

Me: Or should I buy a shaver ah?

Shorty: Make up your mind lah!

Me: Umm…

Shorty: How are you shaving now? Plucking ah?

Me: Har har .. very funny.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #322: Shandy

Posted on February 7, 2014 admin

#322

Over Chinese New Year celebrations Shorty and I have been a little left out. You see Shorty doesn’t really drink and I… well I drink sometimes but most of the time when I’m just trying to relax I don’t. All around us though we had relatives and friends all drinking around us.

So one night before a family dinner, our brothers were getting all the bottles of wine and whiskey ready for dinner. When Shorty and I….

Me: Yo Shorty…. wanna go get some shandy?

Shorty: Oooh… now?

Me: Yeah we just drive off to a 7-11 and go get some.

Shorty: OOoohh badass.. Okay lets go!

10 minutes later our car is parked outside a 7-11 with Shorty just stepping in with 4 cans of Shandy in her arms.

Shorty: Alright I got it!

Me: We gonna get drunk tonight!

Shorty: HAHA… why we so loser wan.

Me: Whatever… we like Shandy.

Shorty: HAHAHA!! How much do we have to drink to get drunk?

Me: *checks label* Well it says there is less than 1% of alcohol content in this can of Shandy. So I’m guessing… a lot.

Shorty: HAHAHA.

At the dinner, friends and relatives were all pouring glasses of whiskey and wine.

Me: Shorts… wanna get drunk on some Shandy?

Shorty: Oooh.. ok lets do it!

Me: Two shandies… coming right up…. *pours too glasses*

Shorty: *excited*

Me: Yam seng Shorty… yam seng…

My Form 5 School Magazine Photo of my Class in 2001

Posted on February 4, 2014 admin

Someone posted this picture of our class photos in our school magazine back when I was Form 5 in St Xaviers Institution in Penang. I’m the 1st guy on the left “Tiah Ewe Tiam”.

Looking at the faces of my ex classmates really brought back a lot of memories for me. My class was truly 1 Malaysia. We had students from all different ethnic backgrounds and we all got along really well. Some of whom I still keep in touch with a lot.

There was Samuel Loh and Francis. Both of whom I constantly compete with for the Top 3 positions in the class.

There was Rajiv…. who I always remember told the teacher that the reason why he didn’t do his homework was because a ghost came and ate it (and this was in Form 5).

There was Teh Oon Khye who was one of my first friends in St Xavier’s when I first moved there from Sri Inai. People used to bully him in class because he was short…. today hes’ working at Fedex and he’s one of the few friends from class 5A1 that I still see regularly and keep in touch with.

Another guy I still keep in touch with off and on is Matthew who used to work at Maxis and is now a property agent.

In this next picture were the rest of them.

There was Jin Siang who was known as the tai kor or the gangster in the school. You know how sometimes there would be gang fights planned after school and a lot of people from both gangs will meet up for the fight after school. But at the actual fight itself, only 2-3 guys will be fighting, the rest of the henchmen will pretend to be useful by holding everyone else back. Well Jin Siang would be the 2-3 guys who would be fighting.

Then there’s Chia Chuien. I remembered his face but I didn’t remember his name and it was only later that I remembered the reason why was because nobody called him by his name Chia Chuien. Everyone referred to him as “Cacing”… cuz his name sounded some sort like that (the nicknames we call each other in school).

There there was Chin Lai, who was really into WWF wrestling and would love to wrestle in school then imitate the Rock’s eyebrow lift after each fight.

There’s Robert Low… who I remember used to be really good in math. He’s on my Facebook now and I constantly see him promoting property in Penang for sale.. so he’s a property agent I think.

Looking at these faces brought back so many memories for me. The things we used to do, the people I used to hang out with and the different backgrounds we all came from. It’s this diversity that reminds me why I would love for Fighter to go to a government school and not a private one (though Shorty and I are still debating the pros and cons).

Today these friends of mine have grown up. Most of them are married… and all of them have good jobs and provide well for their families. We came from different backgrounds and ended up with different path in our lives… but the one thing we share in common is that we’re all Xaverians.

Gong Xi Fa Cai 2014!

Posted on January 31, 2014 admin

Hi Everyone!

Gong Xi Fa Cai from Shorty, Fighter and me.

We had a fun reunion dinner last night. Fighter was pretty well behaved sitting in his baby chair throughout dinner… until he got really sleepy and couldn’t sleep because of all the noise. In the end my sister-in-law taught me to do something. Just cover the car seat that Fighter was in with some blanket then rock him for like 10 minutes. Eventually he would fall asleep and true enough in 10 minutes, in spite of all the noise… Fighter was asleep.

Lots to do today. So can’t write much.

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Have a great CNY!

The Gift of Life

Posted on January 29, 2014 admin

Update: Shorty also blogged about this very same thing here.

Lately I’ve noticed my friends doing things like #100happydays or variations of these things. To remind themselves of the little things they appreciate or can be thankful about in life. I think it’s a great exercise… because sometimes we forget the little luxuries or the good things we have in life.

The one thing I haven’t forgotten and am still always grateful for though is Fighter. You see… in the past week, two things have caught my attention.

1) Premature babies

Since we knew it was almost certain that Fighter would be a premature baby, we joined this very supportive group on Facebook for mommies (and daddies) of premature babies. In the past month, there are two mothers whose cases stand out. Both mothers had given birth to their babies at a severely premature stage. One at 24 weeks… another at 26 weeks (if I remember correctly). Both weighed about 700 grams or less.

A few days ago, one of the mothers posted about how after a month of her baby girl fighting in the NICU… she had lost her.

And right after that… the other mother posted about how the doctor had told her that her baby isn’t going to make it and that she would prepare for the worst.

When I read these two stories my heart sank. Shorty and I have been there…. looking at our Fighter through a glass box and praying that he wouldn’t develop any complications.

I can’t imagine how both of us would have felt if it hadn’t turned out as well as it did…. I know Shorty would break down and cry… and I would have to be strong for her and tell her it would be okay… but I think I would break down myself and cry too.

2) The Nat Factor

I discovered this blog about a mother who was at a pretty advanced stage in her pregnancy but found out at a checkup that there was no longer a heartbeat. Natalie (as I learned her name was) wrote her experience really well… so well that it made us feel as if we were there (that’s what I love about blogs… nothing tells a story better than a blog or Dayre). Shorty was crying by the time she had done reading the entry.

The good news is that Nat is now pregnant again and things seem to be going well so far. I hope the two mothers in the first part will get pregnant again too and find their happiness with the safe delivery of their next child.

The truth is… Shorty and I know that while we’re blessed with one healthy child now, it’s not over yet. We want to have more children and Shorty’s medical condition still means that not only will it be hard to conceive but when she does conceive there will be a 45% chance of a miscarriage. We got lucky with Fighter once…. and we’re grateful for that.

After reading Natalie’s blog entry, Shorty and I went into Fighter’s room and watched him as he slept.

I gave him a kiss on his forehead and whispered “Thank you for Fighting so hard Fighter… thank you for making it”.

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #321: Shorty pretends to be my fan

Posted on January 27, 2014 admin

#321

So last weekend I went to University Malaya to give a talk to some 650 AIESEC students. While we were on the way there, Shorty and I were talking in the car…

Me: I hope the audience is responsive. Otherwise imagine during the Q&A if people ask if there are any questions …. all we hear are cricket sounds.You’re going to have to pretend to be my fan Shorts.

Shorty: Ok can. I’ll be like “Hi excuse me… I have a question. Uhh my name is Audrey Ooi.. I just want to ask… can you name five things you like about your wife?

Me: Yah…. “if got less than 5 things just name one thing also can.”

Shorty: HEY!

Can’t wait for Robocop!

Posted on January 25, 2014 admin

Shorty and I used to watch a lot of movies together. It was our thing. Every time there’s a Nuffnang or ChurpChurp screening we would make it a point to go. Lately though with the birth of Fighter, that has kinda changed. After work each day all I want to do is go home and see him… and when I go watch a movie I miss him.

So last weekend we decided to watch a movie together. I wanted to watch an action movie like Lone Survivor but Shorty wanted to watch Her. We debated for a while but somehow after a few minutes both of us were okay with giving in. So in the end okay we went to watch Her… which wasn’t my kind of movie but Shorty loved it. On the flip side, Shorty now owes me an action movie… and that’s gonna be Robocop.

Well that was a 20 second parody video of Robocop but you get the gist. I grew up watching Robocop… I remember having the video tape of Robocop 3 at home and watched it over and over again over meals. Can’t wait to watch the new one.

The only thing I’m not sure about is whether Robocop is something Shorty would wanna watch anyway. If that were true… then I might have just wasted my one opportunity for a movie I want to watch. Anyway can’t wait to watch it!

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #318, #319, #320: Aunty Shorty

Posted on January 21, 2014 admin

#318

Shorty and I decided to try this restaurant in Mid Valley the other day. It’s called Goku Raku Ramen. Right outside the restaurant…

Me: Oh crap.. it’s by Texchem.

Shorty: So what?

Me: Texchem owns Sushi King… which isn’t very good… so this can’t be good.

Shorty: Well they have branches in Paragon and all… never mind try first.

We walk in to sit down and a waiter comes and serves us. Then he walks away and stands with another two of his colleauges.

Shorty: Psst… Fatty… that waiter’s name is Malcolm.

Me: Which one? The one in the middle?

Shorty: Ohhh… good one.

Then the green tea came.

Me: Wow what a big cup…

Shorty: Well that’s something to be positive about.

Well the food in the end didn’t turn out to be too bad. It wasn’t great or anything but it wasn’t bad either.

#319

We are at Isetan one day eating at the little canteen area they have where you can tarpau food and then eat at the tables. I’m waiting for Shorty to buy her food when she finally appears with a plastic bag.

Shorty: Ahhhh… I feel so environmentally bad. I bought this food box and then they asked me if I needed a plastic bag and I said yes. Then right after me a caucasian dude was asked the same question and he said “no thanks…”. And now I realize that I didn’t really need the plastic bag.

Me: Fighter thanks you for the shit world you’ve leaving behind for him Shorty. HAHA…

Shorty: AHHhhh….

Me: Well I got another plastic bag here for you. Came with the bottle I bought.

Shorty: Ahhh….

After the meal…. Shorty clears the table and throws away all the boxes in the plastic bags given.

Me: Now you see if you were serious about saving the environment you wouldn’t have thrown away those two plastic bags. You would have kept them to use them next time.

Shorty: AHHHH!!!

#320

We are at Isetan lining up to buy some baby stuff for a friend of ours who just had a premature baby. Shorty looks at the guy in front of me in the line…. then steps to the side and looks at him closely and the things he’s buying.

Me: What are you doing looking at him up and down like that? Don’t be rude!! You’re embarrassing me!!!

Shorty: Huh what?

Me: You were like coming so close to him and then looking at everything from his shoes to whatever he was buying. All as if he’s an exhibit. Only aunties do that!

Shorty: Ohh… I didn’t notice… HAHAHA!

Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space

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