#270
Shorty: I just heard from my friend about her boyfriend. He’s such an asshole.
Me: Why?
Shorty: Â *goes on to tell me why*.
Me: Oh ok.
Shorty: I’m so glad my Fatty is not an asshole. Come I pat you.
Me: *bends down for Shorty to pat my head*
Shorty: *pat pat*.
Me: *raises index finger* Well the best way to not be an asshole…. is to not be an asshole.
Shorty: Giving all these stupid expressions huh. Learn from me one huh.
Me: Haih… if we keep this up, Fighter is going to be talking like that too.
Shorty: Yeah we gotta start watching our language in front of Fighter too. Don’t want him to go to school saying “MY PENCIL BROKE! FUCK!”.
Me: Yeah the teacher will be like “Fighter.. don’t say that word?”. And Fighter be like “What word?” And the teacher goes “The F word”. And Fighter be like “You mean FUCK?”
Shorty: Haha yeah… like Lily in Modern Family.
Me: Ok we better watch our language from now on….
Shorty: Man this is gonna be hard.
#271
Shorty and I have been attending a lot of weddings recently. So while we were stuck in a traffic jam today we were talking about wedding speeches by the groom.
Me: I thought my speech was good what.
Shorty: Hmm..
Me: What hmm? It was ze best?
Shorty: Well I haven’t seen a lot of groom speeches… but from what I’ve seen I guess.
Me: What? Google it. It’s on my blog. Read it out again to refresh my memory of how awesome it was.
Shorty: You serious?
Me: Yes.
Shorty: *googles on her phone* Ok I just google “Timothy Tiah wedding” and “speech” comes out at the end on its own already.
Me: Haha another search for your husband that contributed to him being #6 in the Top 10 Trending People on Google Malaysia.
Shorty: Oooh modest are we now.
Me: Ok so back to the speech.
Shorty: You want me to read it out loud ah?
Me: Yes.
Shorty: Ok I’m going to skip the beginning part ok?
Me: What? Why???
Shorty: Cuz you were saying how much alcohol you drank etc etc…
Me: Oh ok skip that.
Shorty: Ok here goes. I want to start with a conversation I had with my father many many years ago. When I was young, I used to tell my father that I would grow up to do many things. I had many dreams. I dreamt of being a soldier, a postman or even a pilot. One of the dreams I had though was to marry a beautiful girl. My father had a different point of view. He said “Son.. you don’t marry a girl just because she’s beautiful. You marry a girl who can be a good partner for you in the many ups and downs of life”.
After having spent the past 28 years watching my parents and how they lived their marriage, I began to understand. I saw them live their lives through the ups and downs. I saw how my Dad and Mum were there for each other whenever one needed the other, I watched them build their careers together, watched them make money and lose money together… and more importantly I watched them raise a family. In the many times that I would say hurtful things to my father or my mother, I would watch them take turns to console one another. My parents don’t know this… but it is from them that I learned the meaning of marriage. Marriage is not about romance or not just about love. It’s about having someone who will always be there for you through the ups and downs of life… and it’s about finding happiness.
Me: Â Hor accurate right?? That marriage is about having someone who will always be there through the ups and downs.
Shorty: Aiyo aiyo ok la ok la this Fatty good la. Anyway to continue…. I have imagined this moment all my life. I would be standing here up during my wedding in front of my closest family and friends and giving this very speech. The only part that was missing in my imagination was who the person standing next to me would be. Tonight I see her. And she is beautiful.
Growing up, Audrey and I were taught that we should be perfectionists in everything we do. From our studies, our work and yes… eventually find the perfect somebody and have the perfect wedding to start a perfect marriage.
That didn’t work out. Audrey and I are very far from a perfect couple. She’s short, I’m fat. She’s forgetful, I have a bad temper. She falls sick once every two weeks, and I have recurrent medical problems with my eyes. We annoy each other almost every day… but somehow in the weirdest way that I nor the universe can understand… we make each other happy.
Audrey and I have been together for almost 4 years now and till now each and every day together is like an adventure. Not a day goes by where we don’t make each other laugh or smile. In these 4 years we learn about the good and the bad we have in each other. We learn to treasure the good and embrace the bad…. And that’s why we call each other Fatty and Shorty.
We are one of the most imperfect couples out here… but we think we’re perfect for each other. So that’s why we’re all here today. To celebrate the wedding of an imperfect couple that is perfect for one another.
Shorty: Hor this last line became a quote or something right?
Me: It did?
Shorty: Ya I see some people quote it when they talk about us. “an imperfect couple that is perfect for one another”.
Me: Heh… maybe.
Shorty: Ok back to the speech…When I look back in life, so many things had come together to bring us to where we are today. I owe a great deal to my father and mother who have been to me the best parents any boy on this Earth could ever want. My Dad taught me how its okay to make mistakes in life, but to never let the mistakes keep you down. My Mom taught me to be kind and forgiving to others. Together they taught me to be humble in whatever I do.
In raising me, my parents never asked that I score straight As or have a successful career or make a lot of money. Their only wish was that I grow up, to be a good person.
Mom and Dad, I hope that after 28 years of my life, I am as good a person as you want me to be. I promise to care and love you both for the rest of my life.
From today on I no longer have just 2 parents. I am blessed enough to have 4. Aunty Joyce and Uncle Ooi, it is for the first time now that I will call you Dad and Mom. You have both done an amazing job raising Audrey and I can only wish that I will be able to raise my future daughter as well as you have raised Audrey. I know how precious Audrey is to you both so thank you for trusting Audrey with me. I promise that for as long as my heart beats, I will take care of her.Â
Shorty: At this point my Dad started crying.
Me: He did? HAHA…
Shorty: Ok then…
My last thanks tonight goes to our siblings. To my brothers Kong and Liang, my sister Li, thank you for always being around and for putting up with me. There are no better siblings to grow up with than the 3 of you.
To my brother-in-law Barry… I know we started off like oil and water, but thank you for opening up yourself to me.
To my dear wife Audrey: Today is the end of our courtship but the beginning of a new adventure. Yes just like any adventure, it will have ups and downs. But from now on we will always have each other to laugh together in the good times and cry together in the bad. What matters is that I love you and I know that we will make each other happy.
So my dear wife…. our Adventure is out there.
Shorty: Hor so good huh your wife. Chose you the right wedding theme so you can end the speech well. (Our wedding was themed UP, after the Pixar movie.. hence the colours and all).
Me: What? More like I good because I ended the speech that jived with our wedding theme.
Shorty: Whatevahh!
We carry on spending the next 10 minutes fighting for credit.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space