Last night Shorty asked me “What if one day you fall in love with someone else?’.
My answer was almost a reflex: “I won’t”.
When she dug deeper on why I explained how even though I’ve had a decent number of girlfriends in the past, what I have with Shorty is something that I’ve never experienced before. We have been married for 5 years now, together for 9… and till today I always look forward to spending time with Shorty. Even if it’s just following her home on a car ride and talking to her.
So the thought of falling in love with someone else is really foreign to me.
“Still.. you could change…”.
I guess I can’t ever deny the possibility that things in life might change but even then I’m not sure how much of an impact it will have on our marriage. The way I see it, once we have a family, our relationship is more than just us. It’s our kids. We owe it not just to ourselves but our kids to keep a good healthy relationship running. Even if I do fall in love with someone else, I don’t know if I can be the one breaking off our marriage and letting our kids grow up in a broken marriage. No matter how many times I try to convince myself that maybe it’s better that way, rather than letting them grow up in an unhappy marriage.
Because that’s not the point. When I say we owe it to each other, we owe it to each other to find a way to be happy in our marriage no matter how unhappy we are. It’s something of course that works only if both sides are happy to work on it and I guess it becomes really challenging if only one side is trying hard.
My marriage with Shorty has reached a new phase though. Now that she’s also my business partner in Colony, I feel that I see her in a new light. No more the blogger, influencer, mom or wife… but a businesswoman. When I look at what she’s done with Colony I can’t help but pause for a while in admiration. It’s amazing and a part of me is still looking forward to what she’s going to do next.
Why am I writing this here? I guess writing about this helps me crystallise my thoughts. It helps me mind map my thoughts on marriage. Marriage is a long journey, and it’s something that will constantly grow, evolve and change so it’s good to lock in a memory of what my thoughts are on marriage at this particular point of my life.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space