While we live in a world filled with racial prejudice, I used to envy the world my kids live in. In their innocent world there wasn’t people of different races or religion. There was only babies, kids and adults and they treated everyone the same.
I always wondered when this innocence would come to an end. When would they develop an opinion of someone based on the colour of his or her skin.
That day was today.
I was talking to Fighter about school when he suddenly brought up a classmate of his. Lets call him Johan. Here’s how the conversation went.
Fighter: I don’t like Johan.
Me: Why?
Fighter: Because he has a brown face.
This was the first time that Fighter ever said anything like that so I was really taken aback. In the next few seconds I stood stunned, not sure how I was supposed to respond to that. Thoughts raced in my head and the pressure built up. I know he said this out of total innocence but how I responded to this would be how he in future would view people of different races. I was determined to raise my son to view and love all races equally.
I composed myself and responded.
Me: You shouldn’t like or dislike anybody just because they have a brown or black face or any colour face.
Fighter: Why?
Me: God made us all with faces of different colors so we’re all special in our own ways. Special… not better or worse. You should decide if you like a person based on whether that person is good to you or shares the same values as you do. Not from the colour of his face
Fighter: Why?
I thought about going into a whole explanation about how this leads to racism and how racism does a lot of harm in the world but I reminded myself that I was talking to a 3 year old. I had to make it very simple. So I answered:
Me: Because it’s not fair to the person who has a different colour face. Maybe that person really wants to be your friend and is really good to you but you don’t like him just because of the colour of his face. That would make that person sad. Do you want to make that person sad?
Fighter: No I don’t want.
Me: Look instead at who the person is and if he’s good to you. For example, do you like Uncle Jas?
Fighter: Yes.
Me: What colour is his face?
Fighter: Brown.
Me: Yet you still like Uncle Jas right?
Fighter: Yes.
Me: See? So it doesn’t matter what colour anyone’s face is ok? You don’t like them differently and you don’t treat them different.
Fighter: Okay.
———–
Looking back on this episode I’m not even sure if I did a great job explaining it away to him but today at the kids’ playground he saw another girl with a “coloured face” and he seemed to like her.
Perhaps I’ve prolonged my son’s innocence a little while more.. and hopefully led him to the right path:
That while we acknowledge we live in a diverse world of people with different races and religion, neither one of those things make anyone any better or worse than the other.
That we should be judged by who we are. Not what we are.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space