This weekend Shorty and I are in Singapore while our kids are in Penang with their grandparents. Let me back up a little and tell you why. Some months ago I agreed to attend my friend Derrick’s wedding in Singapore. At first I was thinking of bringing the kids along but then I later realized that my mom had planned her early birthday celebration that weekend. So we decided to send the kids back to Penang to spend time with my parents while Shorty and I flew down to Singapore. We were going to be away from the kids for a couple of days

This morning Shorty and I woke up and played with both the kids. While we would normally do our own things in the morning while the kids played on their own, this morning we sat with them and played because we knew they were going to leave by late morning. I repeatedly told Fighter that mommy and I will be going away and he’ll be going to Penang to see the rest of his cousins and relatives. I told Penny too… but only once because I wasn’t sure she would understand what I was saying anyway. While Fighter would normally whine and cry if we even mentioned going away, this morning he took it really well and just acknowledged it with a sharp “NGH”.

Late morning came and it was time for them to leave. We loaded them all up into the car and with FIghter strapped into his seat I gave him a kiss on his forehead. Once again I told him that he was leaving us behind and he still didn’t cry. I gave Penny a kiss too as we strapped her on to her seat and then watched as the van pulled away from us.

As we opened the door back into our apartment we began to feel emptiness. Our home was still crowded with all the furniture we use every day, its kitchen cabinets and fridge stocked with food and the TV still warm. Yet the silence felt odd. There were no toddlers fighting for toys on the play mat, no Penny trying to climb up the staircase boldly on her own and no Disney Junior music blasting in the background. I felt I missed them already. Then my mind went back to just 3 years ago. Just 3 years ago, we didn’t yet have Fighter and Penny. It was just Shorty and me at home and the house felt complete. Back then I couldn’t imagine what it was like to have kids running around the house. Now I don’t want to ever imagine not having them run around the house.

I held Shorty in one arm and I told her she will enjoy these two days. That once in a while it’s good to have some time alone and focus not on being a mom, but on being a person.That’s the odd thing about having kids. When they’re around we feel obligated to spend as much time as we can with them. We plan our own schedules around their nap or school times and we get used to interrupted personal time whenever they’re awake. As parents we embrace these new responsibilities and the new realities of life but sometimes it helps to get away. It helps to unwind, to have a meal without worrying about feeding the kids, to walk around a mall without worrying about any of them missing their nap time and to have conversations without being interrupted with a “mommy mommy mommy”.

When the kids left, something hit me. Fighter who would normally cry buckets when we left took it very well. He didn’t shed one tear. It’s almost as if he felt he needed some time away from mommy and daddy too. That made us a little sad at first, some sort of an empty nest feeling but perhaps he needs his space too, even at a young age.

I think this weekend is really going to pass by real quick. I think my full time mom of a wife is going to enjoy it but the best part of all is that I know when we reunite in a couple of days, my little family will be really happy to see one another.