While stuck in a massive traffic jam with my father the other day I took the opportunity to chat. It first started off with talk about some of the really successful people we knew. People who made so much money they were buying jets, helicopters, yachts and things that we could never dream of.
As we were talking about one particular friend’s wealth I happened to shoot a look at my father’s face. The red brake lights coming from the car in front of us reflected off his grim face. I could tell… that he was feeling a bit sad. Sad because perhaps he was disappointed he wasn’t as successful as these other people in his life.
Don’t get my wrong. In my eyes my dad is a wildly successful man. He came from a poor family, worked his way up and earned him enough money to give us many luxuries and a good education overseas. He has set a really high standard to me on what kind of career success that I have to aim for if I want to beat it… but my Dad isn’t a billionaire.
Still gazing at the look on his face I said
“You know what Dad… remember what you told me before? You said no matter how good you are in anything, there will always be someone better.”.
I went on
“And no matter how rich you are, there will always be someone richer. If we’re going to keep comparing ourselves with other people more successful than us, we’ll never be happy. Happiness… is found from within. Found from what we already have today… which is great. And I have many things to be happy about today.. I’m sure you have too.”.
His face lightened up and he said “That’s true”.
Then I told him the story of a friend of his that I refer to here as Uncle Rob. Uncle Rob is by many standards a very successful man. Many years ago when I used to see him a lot, he lived in a nice bungalow house in a gated community. He had 4.. maybe 5 cars… all luxury cars. He had a driver, maids, a happy family… and they traveled business class on their family holidays.
Uncle Rob though was always very unhappy. In talking to him you could sense that it was because he was constantly envious at the group of friend’s he hung out with… all of who he perceived to be far richer than him.
I remember one day he had some old childhood friend visit him. The childhood friend was very impressed with everything Uncle Rob had achieved. His big house, his many luxury cars, his everything and he made his admiration no secret. He kept saying how successful Uncle Rob was.
When faced with that, Uncle Rob said “No la… I won’t consider this successful. There are so many other people richer than me”.
“That’s the thing…” I carried on telling my Dad… “… that Uncle Rob had taught me. That if we don’t learn to appreciate however much or little we have, we will never be happy. Happiness is a mindset. So be happy Dad. Because you have a great family, great people around you who love you… and career wise you have achieved something I can only hope that I myself can achieve in my lifetime”.
The car in front of us pulled away as the traffic jam eased. Our car moved forward… and my Dad behind the wheel.. with a smile on his face.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space