The 28th of July 2014 was our second anniversary. I’ve been married for two years now. Two great years that flew by so quickly it feels like I’m still dating my wife. I’ve learned that when you’re with somebody, that person tends to change you. Most of the time for the better. I decided to look back at how my wife has changed me to make me a better person.
Here’s how.
1) She got me to stop to smell the roses
I’m a kind of person who likes to plan everything so much that even while I’m at lunch, I’m planning dinner. My wife on the other hand is the complete opposite. She doesn’t like planning. She just likes to go with the flow.
One day during lunch I asked about what we should do for dinner. She said “Don’t think about it. Why don’t you just sit back and enjoy lunch. We’ll worry about dinner when it comes”.
While both of us agree that some level of planning is important, I see the value in what she’s been telling. Since then I’ve learned not just to appreciate having the certainty of plans, but to treasure the moments I currently live.
Two weeks ago we were walking around on Santa Monica beach. Shorty noticed I was really quiet. She turned to me and asked “What’s wrong?”.
I said “Nothing… just enjoying the moment”.
2) She cured my temper
I used to have a really bad temper. A side of me that she would experience too whenever we had a fight. Over the years though she helped me see how my temper wasn’t doing me any good and was hurting people more than I should.
I probably didn’t change immediately but over the years I found my temper slowly and slowly disappearing
Today I only allow myself to really lose my temper once a year. So far I can’t remember the last time I did.
3) She taught me how to stop worrying about things
Remember when I wrote about 9 Easy Ways To Be Happy?
The part about how we sometimes spend 80% of our time worrying about things that only matter at most 20% of our lives… well that was inspired by my wife.
I often share the things that worry or stress me out. Many times would she tell me about how I’m worrying about something that I can’t change… or that it really doesn’t matter at all. She has never ever though told me never to bring up a worry I have no matter how many times I brought it up and how many times it annoyed her.
4) She changed the way I dress
Before I met my wife.
After I met my wife.
Nuff said.
5) She taught me how to put myself in people’s shoes.
I read an article recently about why people who read a lot make great partners in life. Why? Because reading fiction puts them in the shoes of many many different characters in storybooks so they can apply that to real life.
I see that in my wife and she rubs a lot of that perspective on to me. Never have I ever seen her not consider the other side of the coin. No matter how angry or emotional she can be about something.
6) She made me a father
Being a father changes you in a way that I can’t explain. I now understand why my dad used to say “One day when you’re a father you’ll know”. It’s because what he was trying to get at wasn’t something he could just explain. It was something you had to experience to know.
My wife gave me a chance to be a father. And I believe that made me a much better person. It made me love more, made me realise how time is the most precious thing I can give anyone and it brought me joy I’ve never felt before.
7) She taught me how to laugh at everything including yourself
My wife is one of the most cheerful people I know. She takes the opportunity to laugh at everything. In fact there are few things in this world and few jokes in this world that can’t make her laugh.
She even laughs at herself when embarrassing or unfortunate things happen to her. Being with her… has made me a much happier person.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space