#330
Shorty and I are in our hotel room in Singapore washing up. The sink and the toilet in our hotel bathroom are literally next to each other. I accidentally dropped my dental floss into it.
Me: FUCKK!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITTTY FUCCCKKK!!!
Shorty: HAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHHAHAA.
Me: *sigh* The worst part now is that I still have to put my hand in the toilet and pick it up.
Shorty: Well it could’ve been worse. The toilet could’ve been full of shit. Then you’ll really be in deep shit… HAHAHA GEDDIT GEDDIT?
Me: Don’t be annoying. Okay fine I’ll get it.
Shorty: Wait wait let me take a picture!
Me: NO!
Shorty: *snaps*
Shorty: HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Me: *looks at wet dental floss* Do you think I can still use this?
Shorty: WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?
#331
Shorty and I were crossing immigration at the Singapore airport. We were lugging Fighter in his car seat the whole time and before we get to the tall immigration counter, we had to go through this really narrow path. So we were both like stumbling towards the immigration officer seated on his high table. Upon reaching him the immigration officer:
Officer: Sir you’re supposed to come one by…. *looks at a panting stumbling Shorty next to me*…. are you okay?
Shorty: Uhh.. yes… just carrying baby…
Officer: Baby? Where? *looks down* Ohhh..
After we crossed immigration…
Shorty: What do you think the immigration officer was thinking?
Me: I think he was probably thinking that by the way you were walking, you were a person that had special needs or something.
Shorty: NO… I think he probably thought you were kidnapping me and had me handcuffed to you.
Me: No… mine is more plausible.
Shorty: No … mine is.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space