Shorty’s energy in the past 24 hours has seriously deteriorated. If you had the wonderful experience to know Shorty in real life, she’s this really bubbly girl that laughs every 3 minutes either at jokes someone else makes or jokes she makes herself. The Shorty today is nothing like that. She’s suffering from a bad headache and blurry vision from the progressing blood pressure. She can’t talk without taking breaths between every few words. I did manage to get her to laugh for a few seconds at my Phil Dunphy impression but that didn’t last more than a moment.
The Doctor has responded by once again increasing her dosage to keep the blood pressure down but she is already at almost the highest dosage that can be given.
She wanted to go for our routine walk around the ward today but while she normally manages 2-3 small rounds, today she only managed one. I put her back into bed, drew the curtains and stroked her head while she slowly fell asleep. She likes that.
Before she slept she whispered something that I didn’t hear the first time. Then I leaned in and asked her what she said, with a very soft voice I heard it “I wish you could sleep here with me”. “You mean on the couch here? I can”. But that’s not what she meant. “I mean sleep right here with me on the same bed”. Then I remembered… it has been more than two weeks since we have had the luxury of sleeping on the same bed as husband and wife. I always used to say how she would always just face away from me and hug a bolster on the side anyway so she wouldn’t even realize that I’m there. But I realize now it’s more than that. I miss listening to the sound of her soft breaths and just being able to wake up in the middle of the night and look to my left to see her right there.
Then as I sat there next to her as she slept, still stroking her head with my right hand I started to reminisce happier times. Like the months we spent in California last year and all the simple things like just talking to her while I was driving the car or riding a bike.
The funny stories she would tell me, the witty jokes and how she used to bounce around like a bobble head whenever she laughs. I realize how much joy Shorty brings me everyday.
It’s painful watching her deteriorate like that. I wish I could trade places with her now. That I was the one suffering from preeclampsia for Fighter but I know all I can do is be that rock to her. If this experience has taught me one thing, its that I know I married the right woman. Before she dosed off, Shorty whispered
“I can’t wait to see Fighter. To bring him home”.
I can’t wait for Fighter too… but I also can’t wait to have my Shorty back at her normal self again.
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space