#87
At home
Me: Shorty where’s the laundry basket gone?
Shorty: Took it down to wash.
Me: ARGHH!! I need to wash my towel. IT DOESN’T SEEM TO GET DRY!!!
Shorty: Well that’s because you keep taking showers.
#88
Returning from a restroom at a mall some weeks ago
Me: FUK LAH!!!!
Shorty: What what?
Me: STUPID TAP WAS LIKE A FIRE HYDRANT!!! SPRAY WATER ON MY PANTS!!! NOT I LOOK LIKE I WET MYSELF!!!
Shorty: HAHAHAHAHA
At dinner tonight. I had just returned from the restroom
Me: FARK LAH!
Shorty: What what? Wet your pants ah?
Me: NO LAH!
Shorty: Then what?
Me: Stupid toilet!
Shorty: Whatt?
Me: The toilet here is one of those squatting ones with the hole in the floor. So after I did my business I flushed. When I flushed it was like fukin Niagara Falls in there. The flush was so strong water was rushing to me and went all to my legs!
Shorty: EWWWWWWwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!
Me: YALAH FARK!!!
My Sister: Did you get any on your face?
Me: OF COURSE NOT LAH! If I did that would be shit! (pun wasn’t intended)
Shorty: HAHAHAHA!!!
Me: This Shorty laughing at me huh…
Shorty: HAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!
Me: Still laughing huh *pats Shorty’s head*
Shorty: *backs off* HEY HEY HEY !!! Your hands clean or not? Did it kena toilet water or not?
Me: Maybe…
Shorty: EWW DUN TOUCH ME DUN TOUCH ME
Me: I’M TOUCHING YOU….
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space