#46
At a wine shop waiting for my brothers and my dad to buy wine.
Shorty: Fatty how come you’re not very excited about alcohol wan ar?
Me: I also what! I bought this! *brings out bottle of Baileys*. Manly!
Shorty: Please Fatty… I drink Baileys.
Me: Well Shah loves Baileys too. See? Real men who are confident enough of their sexuality aren’t afraid to drink Baileys.
Shorty: Oohhh are you saying that your Dad and brothers are not confident of their sexuality? HOR HOR! *wags finger*
Me: You ah always twist my words!
#47
In the car some time ago.
Shorty: FATTY I NEED TO PEE!
Me: Okok we’re getting there.
Shorty: I think my bladder is going to burst already Fatty. I can’t take it.
Me: Ok la ok la this Shorty.
Shorty: Yes my Short bladder is going to burst.
Some time later.
Shorty: OMG Fatty I’m so hungry. I’m getting nauseas and I think I’m going to faint
Me: Ok ok we go find some food.
Shorty: I’m feeling weak.
Me: This Shorty ah no warning system in your body wan. Normal people gradually get hungry or gradually know that they need to pee. You just all of a sudden feel extreme need to go pee or extreme need for food and if you don’t get what you need in a few minutes you’re going to die. No middle ground wan!
Shorty: HAHA I don’t know why.
Last night after drinks with family
Me: *getting ready for a shower* … so you think what we talked about earlier was a good idea?
Shorty: Ah you go shower first. Talk when you finish.
5 minutes later
Me: *steps out of shower*
Me: *thinks to self* eh where is this Shorty… suddenly disappear… where did she go… hmmm
Me: *walks around room and finds Shorty tucked comfortably in bed*
Me: Look at this Short Person! So fast suddenly fall asleep with no warning! *ruffles hair*
Shorty: nnghrmmhrgnmm *grumble* So tired… can’t take it.
Me: You weren’t tired 5 minutes ago!
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space