#8
I was in the car driving with Shorty next to me.
Shorty: *sniffs finger* eww I don’t know why suddenly my finger smells so bad.
Me: Issit…. hmm..
Shorty: *suddenly draws smelly finger right under my nose* You smell and see?
Me: *jerks head violently sideways to avoid the smelly finger* WHAT THE FUCK?!??! I’M DRIVING HERE ! YOU KNOW SMELLY ALREADY WHY YOU ASK ME TO SMELL SOME MORE??
Shorty: HAHAHA! No mah just want you to smell and see if you agree with me.
Me: You already say smelly then I believe you lah! I’m not one of those people who smell fart in the elevator must sniff more to verify to make sure it is really fart or not.
#9
Right after I ordered a hotdog today at this stand in LA’s Farmer’s Market.
Me: Shorty I go toilet first. Help me get my hot dog when they call my name ok?
Shorty: Ok!
Me: By the way my name is “Dave”.
Shorty: WHAT?! HAHA? DAVE!? WTF?!? WHY?
Me: Cuz every time they ask me for my name and I tell them Tim they go “KIM?” and then write down “K-I-M”. Just because I’m Asian and have a name that sounds like “KIM”, they think I’m going to break out into Gangnam Style. So I thought keep it simple. Dave. No Asian name can be confused with Dave.
Shorty: HAHAH WHAT? I’m gonna tweet this.
Me: Go ahead.
*5 minutes later.
Shorty: Have you ever thought that maybe it’s because you don’t pronounce the T in your Tim hard enough?
Me: I do too. See? TIM. *enunciates the T*
Shorty: Say TIM.
Me: TIM.
Shorty: TIM!
Me: TIM!!! *enunciates extra hard. Saliva subsequently flies towards Shorty*
Shorty: ARRGGHH…. Fatty! SAY IT DON’T SPRAY IT!
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space