The most annoying thing just happened to me this morning. It started off like a usual weekday morning. Wake up early for a pre-work jog at KLCC Park, jogged for an hour then get back into the car park to head home, shower then head to office to start my work day.
Today was a little different though.
Just as I was driving out of the KLCC Car Park….
“SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT…..”
I looked on my windscreen and realized that a storm of bird (or bat) shit had hit my car and when I say storm I MEAN STORM.
A storm means what must’ve been like 30 drops of shit… that’s right not one… not two… not three… THIRTY FUKING DROPS OF SHITT!!!
Now when some shit hits your windscreen the first thing you do is turn on the wiper to wipe it off right?
WRONG!!!
DOING THAT JUST SMEARED ALL THE SHIT ALL OVER THE WINDSCREEN. So after 5 minutes of wiping, this is how my windscreen looked from inside the car.
Look closely at the picture and you’ll see smeared shit on the glass!
Then I looked around my car and realized that it wasn’t only my windscreen that was hit but the entire car!
LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT!!!
THERE’S MORE
AND MORE!!!
AND MORE!!!!
AND MORE!!!!
AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!
As I was driving back home I passed the Jalan Sultan Ismail traffic lights and even the cop that was there directing traffic had his eyes glued to my car as I drove past.
He was probably wondering to himself..
“WHAT THE HELL BIRD DID THIS POOR SONOFABITCH PISS OFF?!?”
ARGHH!!! DAMN BIRDS!!!
Now I know some people say it’s good luck to be shit on by a bird…. but this must’ve been 30 OR MORE BIRDS (or one bird having a bad case of diarrhea). Seriously I am starting to think those 30 birds planned it all out this morning.
They probably realized I leave that car park at that time every day and they decided
“Okay guys… when he drives out of the car park… we swarm him and shit all over his car! It’ll be so funny… he’ll never know what hit him and our shit is gonna smell real nice after all that fish curry we had last night.”
I MEAN SERIOUSLY!!! How often do you see bird shit on the floor?? THEY ALWAYS AIM FOR THE CARS AND THEY ALWAYS HIT!!!
What are the odds… I was STILL in the KLCC Car Park and my car was moving… how the hell???
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SHAT ON BEFORE IN MY LIFE!!!
TODAY HAD BETTER TURN OUT TO BE A REALLY LUCKY DAY FOR ME!!!
It’s past noon now and I’m still not feeling any of that happiness =(
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space