I have a few really great friends here in Vancouver, Canada so since I’m halfway around the world here I thought I might as well pay them all a visit.I paid a visit to this friend of mine whom I will here call Jeff.
Jeff is an old KL friend of mine whom I met in college. He picked me up from my hotel and took me around Vancouver.
At the end of the day, we ended up on a rocky beach chatting while watching the sunset. It’s summer here and during summer here the sun sets at about 9 to 9.30pm, very unlike back home in Malaysia where by 7.30pm it’s pretty dark already
Anyway while we were sitting on the beach we started talking about One Night Stands that Jeff had been having in his many years in Vancouver. Here’s roughly how our conversation went.
Me: How did you start doing all this? I thought you were a goodie goodie virgin boy back in KL?
Jeff: Yeah since I came here, everyone drinks a lot and beer makes you do silly things.
Me: So how does it work?
Jeff: I thought you know these things!
Me: No man!!! Unfortunately I don’t.
Jeff: Well the clubs here are different from the clubs back home. Back home only a minority dance and everyone else just poses around their tables with their drinks acting cool. Here everybody dances and there is a lot of physical contact. So you go to a club, meet a girl there, dance dance grind a bit and then get her number.
Then the next time there is a frat party or something you invite her to it and after the party it happens.
Me: So how many girls have you shagged while since you’re here?
Jeff: Ermm let me think… *Ponders and looks at the sea for a while* 
Jeff: Well there’s Singapore, China….
Me: Wait wait.. what’s this?
Jeff: Oh I try to remember them by the countries they’re from.
Me: WHAT?! Hahaha ok ok fine fine. Go on.
Jeff: Okay there’s Singapore, China, Brunei, Hong Kong, Canada…
Me: *interrupts* WAHLAU!!! What the hell is this? The United Nations?
Jeff: No lah… that’s about it already. Just those countries. And there was actually almost a Columbia but haih… screwed up that one.
Me: Why what happened?
Jeff: Well there were two sisters there, one of them was quite pretty and the other wasn’t. I was hitting on the less prettier one because I thought she would be easier but turns out the prettier one was the one interested in me. Haih!
Me: So are any of these other girls hot?
Jeff: No! Arrgghh!! Like I said, I banged them all because I was high on booze and you get “beer goggles” when that happens.
Me: Not even the Canadian one?
Jeff: No man. She was really really fat.
Me: WHAT?!?! THEN HOW DID YOU….
Jeff: *interrupts* I said BEER GOGGLES LAR DIU!!!
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space