Thursday morning, I found myself at the KLCC Convention Center for the Opening of the JobsDB Career Fair. I’ve heard loads about this fair since JobsDB approached Nuffnang for a campaign last year to promote this fair.
It wasn’t gonna be like any other fair. It was going to be the first PAPERLESS one in Malaysia.
When I got there they made me fill in a really short form.
Just some basic details you know… name, e-mail contact number, list of ex-girlfriends, bad words that I use over a daily basis and etc etc.
Everyone lies or exaggerate in their CVs right?
Well these details isn’t gonna be a huge part of your CV so you may or may not need to lie about them but I decided to lie anyway and bring over the filled in form to the registration counter.
But I’m a terrible liar, I always get caught…
Then after that they showed me to a lot of laptops they had ready for me to do some serious lying. Time to fill up my CV 😛
I took hold of the keyboard and typed away.
Now when you want to lie about a CV. There are a few sections you need to take note of.
Academic Results: So people think you’re Einstein reincarnated.
SPM results: 45 A1s
A-Level results: 8As
Graduated from Harvard University
Masters at Stanford
PHD at Oxford University
Extra-Curricular Activities: So people think you’re well-rounded
Now nobody gives a shit about you being in the scouts or girl guides… why? because every other person is. So to stand out.. you have to make your employer feel that.. well.. you’re outstanding like this:
-Member of the Red Cross. Have traveled on peace missions to Africa 13 times in the past 3 years.
-Captain of the Malaysian Debate Team. Second-runner up for the World’s Debate Championship (Don’t lie until too ho liao say second-runner up can di… after people suspicious).
-Captain of the National Football Team
Languages Spoken and Written (Because everyone likes a multi-lingual fella):
-English
-BM
-Chinese
-Japanese
-Thai
-Korean
-French
-German
-Russian
-Spanish
And finally… previous work experiences which would depends in what industry you’re applying for but say you’re applying for a job in Finance at Maybank, this is what you should write:
-Junior Analyst at Goldman Sachs London
-Senior Analyst at Morgan Stanley New York
-Associate Director at Lehman Brothers New York
The people at Maybank will be so blown away.. the first thing they’ll probably ask you at the interview is
“So with all this work experience… why do you want to come back to Malaysia to take a pay cut and work here?”
In which your model answer should be
“Because I love my country”.
FUIYOH… they’ll be smiling at you like this man.
So I finishing lying telling the truth about myself in my CV and headed to another registration counter where they gave me a tag with a bar code on it and told me that’s all I was going to need to apply for jobs at this Job Fair.
All I had to do was go to any job booth I see there 
and let them scan my code… effectively digitally passing on my kickass CV to them.
I walked around the fair looking for a friend of mine.
Do yall remember Christine here from 88DB?
She was playing boss.. managing the biggest booth at the event… all taken up by 88DB.
Her booth had everything from free muffins to free massages to… heck even a huge balloon floating on top of it.
Booths don’t get any bigger than this!
After spending some time checking out the place, Nicholas (our Marketing Manager at Nuffnang) who was with me reminded me that it was time for us to run off to another meeting and that I should stop using this wonderful Career fair as a reason for me to slack off!
So we left.
*sniff*
Bye bye JobsDB Career Fair!
If you guys are free this weekend, go check it out at the KLCC Convention Center. Pretty nice to see the first paperless career fair.
I’m can’t say for sure if you’ll definitely get a job there because I myself wasn’t really applying (Unless Nuffnang one day decides that my “services are no longer required“) but there are quite a lot of booths there.
Details at JobsDB
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space
