Clarence Darrow, a Defence Attorney in the USA between 1857 – 1938 is known for saying the famous quote
“History repeats itself. That’s one of the things wrong with history.”
Remember about 6 months ago when I scratched my cornea while rubbing my eyes and ended up not being able to open my eyes for a few days?
I also remember myself saying
‘WHAT KIND OF IDIOT SCRATCHES HIS OWN CORNEA WHILE ASLEEP?!?!”
Today, I have the answer to that question.
“The kind of idiot who will do it again…”
That’s right everyone, 6 months after scratching my cornea while sleeping…. I did it again and landed up not seeing one but two doctors and forced upon an eye patch.
I wasn’t able to open both my eyes again even though the injury was only on one eye (because like it or not, both your eyes move when you look around even if you close one of them).
There’s nothing more frustrating that having an eye injury because you can’t do anything but sleep and hope it gets better.
You can’t read, you can’t go online, you can’t blog you can’t watch TV…. you can just sleep.
So that’s all I did.. sleep sleep sleep until I couldn’t get myself to sleep anymore (I mean there are only so many hours a day that a person can sleep right?), so I resulted in taking a sleeping pill to force myself to sleep.
I learned something new about sleeping pills though.
The first time I popped one into my mouth I was thinking excitedly in my head
“Oooh ooh… this thing is going to knock me out any minute now… any minute now… any minute now … *20 minutes later* …. ahh phuck I’m still awake”!
Which is when I realized that it works if I just try to sleep rather than stay conscious of the fact that I just took a sleeping pill.
Anyway, I have had enough of scratching my corneas!!!
So I have decided to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
NO LONGER SHALL TIMOTHY TIAH SCRATCH HIS CORNEA FROM SLEEPING!!! NO LONGER!!!!
And the solution is simple.
The Doc suggested that maybe I wear an eye patch every time before I sleep to prevent myself from scratching my eyes.
I say…
“F*CK the sissy eye patches Doc… lets do things the MAN way”.
So I dug up an old motorbike helmet I had and ended up with this Arai one which is apparently bullet-proof.
Seriously… the man I got it from told me it really IS bullet proof and I’m not gonna question that.
The last thing do I wanna do is have him prove it to me by having him shoot me in the head while wearing it.
So anyway…
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
NO WAY AM I GONNA SCRATCH MY EYES AGAIN NOWW!!!!!
Although this might really be in tomorrow’s paper.
BUT WHO CARES!!! I STILL WOULDN’T HAVE SCRATCHED MY EYES!!!
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space