Ok I’m finally back from my cruise and plugged into an internet connection that DOES NOT cost USD 0.50 per minute so I can take my time to write this entry.
I’m going to tell you about the way I typically spend a day on the cruise.
I wake up rather late in the mornings… a luxury I seldom have when I’m not aboard a cruise without mobile phone reception.
When I wake up, I take my own sweet time to wash up and then head to an upstairs deck where we have a restaurant there called the Windjammer with a buffet breakfast waiting for us.
At last count, there were about 4 cafes and restaurants on board the ship.
Since I wake up so late for breakfast, I only have a very short while to laze around before it’s lunch time for me to eat again. Yes that’s basically what we do on the cruise the whole time round. Eat eat and eat.
Lunch for me is normally either a sandwich or burger at one of their restaurants
After lunch is when the action starts for me.
There are plenty of activities on board the ship but of course, you don’t have to do all of them unless you’re really Kiasu and want to get every penny’s worth.
Some of our time is spent in lounges like that playing cards or board games like Monopoly.
Oh which reminds me… MONOPOLY SUX! I HATE MONOPOLY!!! IT’S A GAME BASED 100% ON LUCK … and if you play with me… just build a hotel on a few of your properties and I GUARANTEE you that I will be the FIRST to come and pay you rent…
I was the first to lose all the games of monopoly I played on board the cruise. So yes… I am still very bitter 🙁
After playing some board games I normally take a walk around the ship.
There’s the swimming pool area in the middle of the ship that has 4 jacuzzis for people to soak in.
But I forgot to bring my swimming trunk for this trip so I didn’t go for a swim at all. Stupid of me ain’t it?
Going for a cruise WITHOUT my swim wear… that’s like Hang Tuah going to war without his Keris or a Hooters waitress going to work without her boobs.
So while I spent NO time swimming,
I had a little more time to spend on the other things we can do on board.
Like gambling in the casino.
I went in, lost USD 30 to jackpot machines in 30 minutes and I decided that it was a bloody waste of time and money.
I mean where’s the fun in that? All you’re doing is pressing a button and you already know the odds are fixed against you.
For some reason, I can’t understand all the aunties lining up to play those machines.
I left the casino after that and never went back again for the rest of the cruise, giving me more time to do the other activities on board.
There are a LOT of activities on board, really… everything from playing bingo, to Spanish classes to dance classes that are held in lounges like this that come equipped with a huge dance floor.
I went for their Cha Cha class and learned to Cha Cha.
Now I always thought ballroom dancing is for the old crowd, something that our generation will never really use.
I mean how many people do you know our age that know how to ballroom dance. I know NONE.
But both my parents always preached to me that a REAL GENTLEMAN knows how to ballroom dance and my father, always grooming me to be a successful businessman one day made sure that I was brought up knowing how to do at least some form of ballroom dancing.
So I eventually learned how to dance the Waltz a years back and to be honest, it came quite useful in some of the formal dinners that I had to attend in the past.
After learning to dance, I felt like I had to do something a little more hard core so I headed to the back of the ship to do some rock climbing.
The wall is pretty high up, a lot higher than it looks in pictures.
I had to sign a disclaimer to say something along the lines that if I fall off and break my neck I will not hold the cruise ship responsible bla bla bla.
Immediately after I signed up, they suited me up in gear.
Something kinda bugged me though.
After they suited me up, I looked down and notice the harness wrapped around my ballz.
I just had to ask my instructor
“Excuse me… is this really meant to be wrapped around my nuts?”
The instructor looked down for a second and said
“Yes…
I paused for a while… then I HAD TO ASK again.
“So… that means, if I fall off the wall, I’ll be hanging with my entire body weight… on my nuts?”
The instructor giggled AGAIN and said
“Well … in a way yes… so don’t let go of the wall”.
I panicked a little
“WHAT!?!?! SO WHAT CAN I DO IF I FALL OFF THE WALL?!?!?!”
The instructor by now had finished hooking on the harness and I was all prepared to go up the wall.
Before she set me off she said
“Well nothing much… but I can tell you what you CAN’T do”.
“What is that?” I asked really really quickly.
The instructor started to walk away but turned her back and said her last few words
“You can’t sue us…. HAHAHAHAHA”
——————————-
Seeing that this blog entry is getting a little too long, I’ve decided to break it up into two parts.
I’ll continue on what happened after that in the next entry.
Have a great weekend everyone
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space