I got forwarded an e-mail from one of my old investment banker friends not long ago.
Attached was an e-mail invitation of an intern at Citigroup London.
She was celebrating her 21st Birthday and decided to invite many of her London friends, including some of her friends from her work place.
Her birthday invitation was so ridiculous that it got forwarded among bankers from London all the way to those here in Southeast Asia.
Check it out.
Note: I’ve changed her name and some details to protect her identity.
Dear Friends,
Thank you for all your replies and I am glad all of you can come this
Friday to celebrate my 21st with me.
Please read ALL the following to ensure your entry into the Ritz.
Lilly’s 21st Birthday Party at The Ritz Hotel London
Friday, 6th of August
9pm – Champagne Reception
10pm – Photo Shoots
10:30pm – Blowing Candles
Mid-night Pangaea, Mayfair
I have arranged the Ritz to host a Champagne Reception with a selection
of Ritz Champagne for all my guests, this will be on me so please come
and indulge.
A specially made birthday cake has also been ordered and the Ritz
waiters will kindly serve you each a generous slice with Ritz cutleries,
etc…also on me.
INSTRUCTIONS FOR ENTRY:
*When you arrive, take the Hotel entry on the opposite
side of
the Green Park tube station [Please refer to your arrival time at the
end of this email]
*When asked “how can I help you Sir/Madame?”, you reply
“I am here for Lilly’s Birthday Party at the Rivoli Bar”
* You will be escorted to the lounge area next to the
Rivoli bar, where you will hopefully see a gorgeous group of ladies.
If you experience any issues getting in or getting to the Ritz, please call my mobile on 07782 *** **** and my PA Ms Dill will kindly deal with your queries between 8:30pm to 10pm.
STRICT DRESS CODE:
Gentlemen: Jacket, shirt, and please also bring a tie (no jeans,trainers, flip-flops, polo-shirts)
Ladies: skirt/top, cocktail dress (no denim, min-skirts, flip-flips, bad
tastes)
Advice 1: It goes without saying that the more upper-class you dress,
the less likely you shall be denied entry.
Advice 2: Photos will be taken between 10pm to 10:30pm, and these will
be distributed once processed, therefore you may want to be
well-groomed! 😉
Finally…
I will be accepting cards and small gifts between 9pm to 11pm…
I very much look forward to seeing you all at the Ritz this Friday.
9:00pm: Lucy, Sophie Sandner, Kajai, Mandeep, Preet, Sanami, Su, Lisa,
10:00pm: Anthony, Rachel, Roger, Uli, Yogi, Gharzi
I’m going to send out invitations right now for my next Birthday Bash and inviting all my readers!
Boss Stewie’s Birthday Bash 2007
Dear Friends,
Please read ALL the following to ensure your entry into MIR.
7.30PM – Arrival at MIR.
9.00PM – Singing of Birthday Song.
10.00PM – Continued Singing of Birthday Song.
12.00AM – Party all night with performances from Beyonce, Ciara,
INSTRUCTIONS FOR ENTRY:
* When you arrive at KLIA, take the airport VIP entrance.
[Please refer to your arrival time at the end of this email]
* When asked “How can I help you Sir/Madame?”, you should stand in a group just like they do in Star Trek and say
“Beam Me Up Sir”. 
* You will be teleported thousands of feet above to the MIR Space Station lounge area, where you will see a group of gorgeous semi-nude ladies. You should then go up and say to them
“Ladies, I am here for Boss Stewie’s 23rd Birthday Bash“.
In which they will first giggle (if they don’t giggle first please let me know and I shall have them fired), then say
“Right this way Sir/Madame“.
When you enter the party area, you will be shown to your tables but feel free to mix around my other guests like
George Bush & Tony Blair
Bill & Melinda Gates
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
Scarlett Johansson
and of course
Will Smith who will sing a rap version of my Birthday Song 
If you experience any issues getting in or getting to the MIR, please call my mobile at 016 4827382 and my PA (Personal Assistant) Ms Penelope will kindly deal with your queries between 8:30pm to 10pm.
STRICT DRESS CODE:
Gentlemen: Tuxedo from any Designer Label ie Armani, Zegna, Versace and etc etc. (No guys.. Espirit does NOT count as a designer label)
Ladies: Bikinis or less
Advice 1: It goes without saying that the more money you have and the more flashy car you arrive in, the less likely you will be denied entry.
So please come in Ferraris, Lamborginis, Rolls, Maybachs and all cars valued RM1.2 million and above.
(Porsches, BMWs, Mercedes and below will get you kicked out of the KLIA VIP Entrance the minute you get down from your car).
Advice 2: Photos will be taken between 10pm to 10:30pm, and these will
be published on all major newspapers in the world such as The New York Times and also in famous magazines such as Time, Newsweek and Forbes so make sure you dress well.
Finally…
I will be accepting cards and expensive gifts valued at no less than RM500,000 each between 9pm to 11pm… BWAHAHAHA
I very much look forward to seeing you all at MIR this coming June.
Boss Stewie
ARRIVAL TIMES: [Please stick to these as best as you can, thank you]
9:00pm: Lance , William Leong, Jason, Alynna, Lasker
9:15pm: Gwenneh, Dawn, Suicidal, J
9:30pm: Earl Ku, Hasan, Chocolat, Leon,
9:45pm: Yothemans, Fat 4, man|acz, Baby Bluey, Yen Shiong
10:00pm: Cely, Cecilia, Skyler, Adrianbaby,
Ahh… If only it were all for real…
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space