I’m carrying Fighter when he starts sucking on my nipple through my t-shirt.
Me: Look at what Fighter’s doing. He’s trying to suck milk out of my nipple.
Shorty: HAHA. Daddy has no milk Fighter…
Me: Oh look he has stopped sucking. Now he’s looking grumpy again….
Me: I think he’s like “Dammit… this boob is broken!”
In the room when Shorty is busy doing something…
Me: Eh Shorts… Remember the Lion King scene when the baby lion was born?
Me: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA INGONYAAAMAAAAA BAGITHIII SHI BABAAAAAAAAAA
Shorty: So annoying this Daddy.
I’m on the bed with Fighter supported on my legs…
Me: Shorty… help put back Fighter’s mitten. It came out.
Shorty: Ok… ok Fighter be a good boy ah… don’t struggle… *Fighter struggles*
Me: Come on Shorty…
Shorty: Ahhh look at him… how to take my finger away from him like that? Ok fine you can keep the mittens off Fighter. I keep your hands warm with my palm.
Me: So weak this Shorty… so so weak.
I get dressed for golf this morning….
Shorty: This yellow shorts is like your favourite golf shorts huh.
Me: Sort of… but it’s more because I can’t wear it for any other purpose. It’ll just look weird wearing bright yellow pants anywhere else but the golf course.
Shorty: Why don’t you wear a matching yellow shirt instead of this red shirt?
Me: Well then I’m gonna look like an idiot.
Shorty: Well now you just look like Ronald McDonald.