Now let me give you some history on my hair.
When Shorty first got together with me years ago this was how I looked/dressed like.
She accepted it for a couple of weeks but not long after she decided to take matters into her own hands. She went into my closet and after 45 minutes of rummaging through my clothes she set aside a small pile of my t-shirts and jeans. She went on to say “Okay… this small pile here is what you’re allowed to wear from now on… get rid of everything else”.
Then she took me shopping and all I almost felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Except that I was the “Pretty Woman” and Shorty was “Richard Gere”. Come to think of it now man was that emasculating. Once she was done with my sense of fashion she decided to work on my hair. I used to get my hair cut for not more than RM30 at some barber. She then brought me to A Cut Above where for the first time in my life I spent 3 hours cutting, dying and having hair treatment on my hair. It was the most boring 3 hours of my life but hey who am I to complain… I just got together with a cute pretty little girl and she’s worth it anyway.
After the full 3 hours, I ended up looking like this.
And I vomitted blood when I saw the bill.
But people started commenting that I look much better so okay! I guess it’s worth it and I owe Shorty a favour.
Over the years my hair changed a little here and there but every single hair cut I had was with Shorty.
Which suited me fine because I don’t really care how my hair looked. I just like to sit there, read my book or check my emails while Shorty tells the hair stylist what to do. This year she started bringing me to this salon she goes to called 76 Style. It’s a Japanese salon so everybody there speaks Japanese including the stylist Hiki who is from Japan. Again that suits me fine because all I hear is some Japanese words from Shorty’s mouth and the stylist go “Hai hai hai” and at the end of it my hair comes out nice.
Last week though I decided to go to the same salon and have my hair cut on my own. Without Shorty. I had trouble communicating with Hiki but we settled for pointing at magazine pictures. She pointed at a number but I said “No I want it shorter”. Now here’s the thing…. having my hair cut is a chore for me just like how say… jogging in a park is a chore to Shorty. I don’t like going there and sitting there for a long time. So whenever I go I try to get them to cut my hair as short as possible so I never have to come back again for a couple of months.
Shorty on the other hand doesn’t like that. She thinks that I look fat in short hair… but hey a fatty should rightfully look fat right? So I told Hiki to have my hair cut short… but not too short… because I knew Shorty wouldn’t like it.
Somehow I think there was a bit of a misunderstanding. My hair came out really short which was fine by me! But on my way back I realized that… Shorty wouldn’t be pleased. After all in Shorty’s books:
And in this case… “ONE” refers to a particular Fatty.
So at the end of the day I was on the way to meet Shorty for dinner when I decided to manage her expectations in advance. That’s something the advertising industry teaches you… always manage expectations. So I did.
She wasn’t pleased. In fact I thought she was going to divorce my newly married fat ass.
The next day Shorty so happened to visit Hiki and Hiki asked her in Japanese “Is his hair ok?”… apparently with a little bit of fear in her eyes because she probably guessed Shorty didn’t like my short hair. Shorty just smiled and said sure. Because she put all the blame on me… that I asked her to cut my hair short. For the past few days she was going on and on about my hair until I finally came up with the best response evah! I said
“Hey! I’m married now! I don’t have to look good anymore!”.
And she didn’t say anything about my hair anymore after that. Except for this morning when she said that my hair makes my head look like an egg plant in which again I came up with a genius response (seriously I’m on a roll this week): “Well if I’m Mr Egg Plant then that makes you Mrs Egg Plant. How does it feel to be married to an Egg Plant?”
So anyway everyone… without further ado… here is my haircut.
How bad is it?
Disclaimer from Shorty: it looks better styled ok!!! Past few days he went around with flat short hair and really resembled a vegetable.