I got out of bed this morning excited to get started with my day. My schedule was full for the day. It started with a morning visit to the Traditional Chinese Doctor just for a check-up on my ankle which was doing much better. Then lunch meetings and meetings after that till night. It’s 11.30PM now as I write this and I had just gotten back from the office. Lots of work to be done.
When I walked out of my home this morning though it never occurred to me that today was going to be the day I experience the most pain I had ever experienced in my life. Ever. It was… and it was from the first order of business for the day: Visiting the Traditional Chinese Doctor that my aunty recommended.
The very minute I walked in the receptionist recognized me and asked if my ankle was ok. I said it was okay and I’m walking normally now. Just a little bit swollen still and a little pain on some parts but it’s getting better. She led me into this massage room where I waited for the Doctor to show up. Soon enough the lady Doctor showed up. She took a look at my foot and then she said that I had actually torn a ligament and actually had a blood clot on my ankle that I had to get rid of.
So she first started massaging my ankle. Which led to a huge amount of pain. There was my ankle, still sprained, ligament torn and the Doctor was pressing down on it really hard with her fingers. It was so painful I was hugging the pillow I was lying on. I kept the silence as much as I could though. Letting out only a few grunts here and there.
The ankle massage lasted for some 30 minutes. I was so eager to get it over with I had asked the Doctor many many times in that 30 minutes if it was over yet… and she said no. Then after that 30 minutes she stopped massaging my ankle. I thought it was over when she suddenly took out one BIG NEEDLE.
Immediately my mind sent signals to my mouth to say the words “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT NEEDLE FOR?!” ... but instead my mouth opened only to ask her politely in Chinese what that was for. She replied that it was to poke the blood clot and drain the “old blood” out. She said she had to do it or it will get worse.
So fine… I thought maybe it would feel like an injection or so. So I just held on to the massage bed I was on and waited. Then it happened. She STABBED my ankle FOUR TIMES in a row! 3 seconds in between each time and I felt the sharpness in each stab. I could hold my silence no more. Open was my mouth and out came a shout “AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH FFFFFFF……”
A volley of curse words were going to be hurled into the air but I held it back in consideration of the other women in the room. The nurses.
So after my four stabs, I lay there on the bed… panting… just recovering from the pain while my blood clots bled out. The Doctor then started massaging my ankle again and she pressed down on a few spots asking each time “Tong ma?” (Pain ah?). My tindakan refleks responded with a “Tong!!” (Pain).
When she heard me say that she went….
“HAR? TONG AH?!?”
Then she took out the big fucking needle again and STABBED MY ANKLE ANOTHER 4 TIMES WITH IT!
“AAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!“… My shout of pain echoed on the walls of the room. Still I held back from cursing out loud but in my mind… it was “FUCKFUCKFUCKYOUFUCKINGBITCHDON’TYOUSTABMEIWTHTHATNEEDLEAGAINIMMAKEELYOOOUUU“.
After I recovered from my second series of stabs she pressed the points on my ankle again and asked “Tong ma?”
This time I was a little smarter. Instead of saying pain I just said “yi dian dian” (a little bit).
Apparently I was smarter but not smart enough. Because when she heard it she went “HAR? YI DIAN DIAN?!”
AND SHE STABBED ME ANOTHER FOUR FUKIN TIMES!!!!!
This went on until she had stabbed me 15 times with that needle. Even I was uncomfortably surprised when she stopped at 15 because her stabbings seem to come in batches of four. I had come to a stage where I was just thinking in my mind “LET ME DIE.. JUST LET ME DIE!!!”.
After the 15th time though she pressed on my ankle again and asked “Tong ma?”. By then when she asked “Tong ma?” Even a monkey would have known to say “BU TONG BU TONG!!!” (NOT PAIN NOT PAIN).
She laughed and said “Haha I know even if pain you also don’t dare say pain also now”. I gave her a nervous smile but in my mind I was thinking “NO SHIT SHERLOCK!”.
She then bandaged my ankle up and told me it should be ok now but if it still swells in two days time, go back to see her. I forced a smile and nodded… (when I actually meant … NO FUKIN WAY!!!). I left the clinic that morning limping away.
So I don’t doubt that she probably did some good and helped me recover sooner than say a modern Western Doctor would. But I’m not sure if it was worth going through all that. So next time if you ever sprain your ankle or tear your ligament and a modern Doctor tells you to just rest your leg and watch TV at home…. say “THANK YOU”. At least if any surgery had to be done… there would be this thing called ANESTHETIC. Something I WISH I BLOODY HAD THIS MORNING!
So that everyone… is the most painful experience I have ever had in my life!
Timothy Tiah – Co-Founder of Colony, Kuala Lumpur Co-Working Space