I just started trying to blog something happy or funny that happened to me lately. I tried and I tried… but I gave up. Today I am taking a break. Today I am not going to hide my mood or my feelings and I’m going to blog however I feel. Yes it’s true…. I’m not always as bubbly or as happy as I appear on the outside. On the inside, there are times when I get really really bogged down with work and thoughts of work.
Many people have asked me if I work long hours and I often don’t really know how to answer that. When Nuffnang first started out 3 years ago with a staff count of 4, I worked many many hours on doing things since I had to do everything myself then. Today the whole Netccentric Group has about 60 full-time staff and there are structures and systems in place so that takes a load off me. I don’t work tediously anymore…. but I feel I work a lot harder mentally. I don’t know how to explain it but I’m going to try. These days I don’t stay in the office till really late. I wake up early in the morning, go to the gym and by the time I reach the office, most of the Nuffies are already there. I leave often after a lot of them leave but I’m hardly the last person to leave the office.
When I leave the office though, work doesn’t stop for me. In the car on the way to pick my girlfriend up for dinner, I’m talking on the phone about work. When I’m in the shower at home later in the night, I’m thinking about work and before I sleep I’m thinking about work. Heck sometimes I think about it so much that I have trouble sleeping. It just dawned on me today that 70% of the dreams I remember having were of work. Can you imagine that? I don’t dream about unicorns, or flying in the sky or rainbows.. I dream about work. What kind of “work thoughts” do I really have though? Well some of them of excitement… you know that we’ll be doing new things or coming up with new ways to solve problems. Some of them though are of stress and worry. Ming and I both admitted to each other once that whenever we checked our emails our hearts would always beat a little bit faster for fear that an e-mail might come about something bad that happened in the company and we would have to go put the “fire” out.
Back then when we had 4 staff, things were a lot more lighter. We had less things to worry about. Less costs, less problems… and people kind of expected a little less from us and were certainly more forgiving of any mistakes we made. Today, our standards have gone up soo much higher. I mean even if you compare our Powerpoint Presentations from 3 years ago to now, you would see leaps and bounds of difference in standard. Before it used to be okay to make one or two small mistakes. Now even the smallest mistakes are unacceptable.
Back then when we were a growing company, we had so many things we knew we had to improve on and they were easy to act on. Now it seems we’ve picked all the lower hanging fruit and whatever else we need to change for the better takes not only time but effort and resolve. There is also so much more at stake. Before I used to tell myself that if we failed, I would just go back to finding a job. Today if we fail, 60 full-time staff who earn a living from the company Ming and I started will lose their jobs and their lifestyles. 60 people that are the best people we could ever want and 60 people whom we all love!
So my head really feels a lot heavier these days which is why sometimes I wish I could just escape for a while and go for a holiday but even then I grow tired of because I already travel so much for work. It’s true… the grass is always greener on the other side. Some people I know wish they could be doing their own business and all but believe it or not, sometimes when my head is heavy with all these thoughts I think about how it would be like if I was just working for another good company. The worst that can happen if I make a mistake is I get fired and I find another job.
Whenever I run into a lot of stress though I think of what Donald Trump once said… that whenever he was faced with any major problems, he thought of the bigger problems of the world: People in Africa starving or people who’re suffering from the aftermath of the Haiti earthquake. it was when he thought about these bigger problems of the world did he then realize how small his problem is. I do that… and it actually does help put things in perspective for me. I don’t just stop there. I then count my blessings. The good people I have around me, the fact that I can have food on the table every day… and I have a job that while very stressful at times is the thing I really really love doing for now.
I feel better already…. thank you blog!
hey,nice post..
wow, woderful post..i am a big fan..
stewie dont stress!
Trust me when I say this.
It is all part of thrill why we all run a business and at time, it gets us going.
I get how you feel and I do get the “work” thinking all the time.
It just couldn’t get out of me and now with a business on hand, it is even crazier.
Just throw in a few chill out moments and all will be fine…
Like quaintly said, don’t stress!
When you were starting out, there wasn’t so much to loose, hence less to worry about.
Destress often enough kay boss, jangan tersampai burnout
Lazertag! (Well paintball works better IMO hahaha)
well everybody has their own stress and problems and people are just praising each other from their own eyes..=) cheer up..
btw did you get my tweet reply?
It’s a phase I guess that a lot of us must face, but it’s a good thing as well as you’re worrying for others as well, not only yourself…that’s being a very good boss. At least you and BossMing have clear directions too. Beats being working for a big bank with numerous rules and a boss that want to micro manage you. Sigh…cant wait to leave.
I totally emphasise with you, Tim. I know exactly how you feel. There will always be stress but as business owners, at least you and I love what we are doing and that keeps us going.
I am glad you feel better after blogging cos I do too… it’s therapy for me in keeping sane !! Keep that spirit there, Tim !!
With great power, comes great responsibility.
压力才是男人的动力！:P
You are achieving so much for such a young guy.
I could never be a business owner just because you can’t leave work at work. What you’ve done is amazing. You’ve managed to identiy a niche and fill it.
It’s great to hear what is really going on in your head once in a while. =)
Hope you feel better soon!
Its ok to let your guard down once in awhile stewie.
Everyone reading your blog supports you =D
You’re human too.. =)
And everyone has their off days.. it just happened to be yours.
It definitely is more stressful having your own business- as you think aboiut your staff’s livelihood,too! Need to learn to destress, no easy feat but not impossible.
I used to dream about trying solve my work problems in my second year of work… and my friend who has been in the same industry for 3-4years says that’s not healthy! hehe.
Yah it’s tough but it’s good problems to have, rather than problems like no job, not enough money or Nuffnang failing.
You’re doing what you wanted to do and most important of all doing it well.
Plus you have people around you that fully support you and believe in you.
Whatever comes you can handle it.
But yah, it’s good to let it all out sometimes
That’s what blogging is all about after all.
thanks for the timely entry….i was (and still am albeit more mildly now) suffering from depression due to immense work stress (not the work per se but more like the career choice that i’ve made which incurred hefty opportunity costs for that matter) and your entry was not only inspiring but also served as a timely reminder that my problems might also be small (at least not as dire as) compared to the ones the other ppl in the greater world are suffering. thanks for the donald trump quote and thanks for reminding me that i have to count my blessings instead of dwelling on the relatively minor problems that i have which i’ve unduly magnified.
You are a good boss.
Enough said.
That was exactly why I left my own company and worked for other people, had enough of the stresses, pressure, worries if things don’t work out, recession, losing sleep etc. But now I’ve been working for a company, being a ’salaryman’.. I realised that nothing can beat the satisfaction of achieving something in your company. I’m currently trying to build back wht I’ve left behind
Hang in there, it’ll all pay off!
Thank you so much for all the kind messages guys. Really helps… a lot more than you can imagine!
Don’t really know what to say to help make you feel better… But hang in there Boss Stewie!!! It’ll all pay off. *hugs*
buy more nerf guns boss ^__^
cheer up!
Your post was timely and squarely hit the nail on the head. For months now, I just couldn’t put a finger to what I am currently going through. Now I understand, Mr Tiah. Thank you.
Remember your name, 1 Tim 4:12a and 2 Tim 4:17a
Having the courage to live out your dream, then it’s a life worth living for…
Good sharing, keep on keeping on! U’re an inspiration to many
i can relate to what you are going through altho im not a boss of a company…. it because you care and love your job so much thats why you think about it most of the time……i do too think about my work most of the time so you are not alone …. if you give your heart and believe in what you are doing is right then there will be no regrets…. =)
It’s is soo great to hear the stories from you…Keep it up ..A lot of people Love Nuffnang and I am one of them…Nuffnang change my life and Nuffnang make me happier..Keep up a good work Timothy,really envy you…
I love this kind of stories from you.
Thinking about work is fine, the principle (which I learned from a conference) is not work life balance, but work life integration. Thanks for being open and honest! A valued virtue.
You worry too much. All bosses need to be under some form of pressure then only businesses can do well, but too much worrying is counter productive. Analyse the issues at hand, make a decision and move on. Learn to relax a little, then you’ll be an even better Boss.