May 18th, 2013

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #181, #182: Shorty does not share tea

#181

We’re walking down Champs Elysee in Paris when Shorty spots a McDs and insists on buying some nuggets. Once we walk in:

Shorty: AHHH such a long queue!!!!!

Me: Oh well.

Shorty: HEY What’s that!

Me: Self-order machine.

Shorty: OOH OOH I WANNA PRESS. *orders nuggets and pays with credit card*.

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There is no queue at the pick-up point for self-order. So five minutes later we walk out with a bag of nuggets in Shorty’s hand.

Shorty: Dunno why not more people use the self-order machine…. SUCKERS!!! HAHAHA.

#182

Having tea with Shorty at a cafe in Paris. I ordered macaroons, a pastry and shared a pot of green tea with Shorty.

Me: *finishes cup of tea and pours more from the pot*

Shorty: *watches intently*

3 minutes later

Me: *finishes 2nd cup of tea and pours more from pot*

Shorty: HEY!

Me: What?

Shorty: Why you drink so much!!!

Me: Thirsty.

3 minutes later.

Me: *finishes 3rd cup of tea and pours more again*

Shorty: HEY!!! DON’T DRINK ALL THE TEA!!!

Me: Oh sorry I think I just had the last cup of tea.

Shorty: WHAT!!!

Shorty then picks up my cup of tea, and empties it into her cup.

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Me: What the hell?

Shorty: *scoops up a teaspoon of tea from her cup and throws it back into my  empty cup*

Me: *drinks the teaspoon of tea I have left*

Shorty: HAHAHA

May 15th, 2013

Things Shorty & Fatty Say #179 & #180: The Name Game

#179

Shorty and me just got to Paris today for our baby moon.

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Shorty: Wow this is the first time we’re in a country where we don’t know the language.

Me: No who said.

Shorty: Yes what! Most of the countries we been to have English as the main language. And Japan I speak Japanese.

Me: China and Hong Kong?

Shorty: Yah but it’s not very far off. I mean you can still speak…..

Me: Thailand.

Shorty: ….

Me: Yes? Something to say? You know how to speak Thai? Sawadikarb!

Shorty: Fine fine.

#180

During lunch at a French cafe by Champs Elysees 

Shorty:  What do we know about France?

Me: Les Miserables. The Guillotine.

Shorty: Ya but what else. Like which famous person do we know from France?

Me: Dunno.

Shorty: There I know… Audrey Tatou. The actress from Chocolat.

Me: Oh ok.

Shorty: Come lets play a game. We see who can name more famous people from a country or state ok? So you can choose a country first but you have to let me one person first. And once I answer, if you cannot answer anymore then you lose. Then we take turns to choose a country. Ok?

Me: Ok ok I start. USA.

Shorty: Britney Spears.

Me: Obama.

Shorty: Ok China.

Me: Zhang Zi Yi

Shorty: Mao Tse Tung.

Me: Germany.

Shorty: Mercedes Benz.

Me: WHAT? FAMOUS PERSON! Not a car!

Shorty: Mercedes Benz is a person! He named it after his daughter.

Me: Yerrr like that I might as well say Bavarian Motor Works (BMW).

Shorty: Haha but that’s not a person’s name!

Me: Neither is Mercedes Benz.

Shorty: It’s true la we studied it in school.

Me: Now that’s bullshit. Where got we study such thing in school.

Shorty: GOT!

Me: Fine Fine. Give you!

Shorty: Ok Scotland!

Me: Shit…. who is from Scotland? OK JOHNNIE WALKER!

Shorty: CANNOT LAH!

Me: Fine William Wallace.

Shorty: WHO THE HECKK IS THAT??

Me: Braveheart.

Shorty: HE DOESN’T EXIST IN REAL LIFE!

Me: He was a hero!

Shorty: Fine… give you. We can then use fictional characters also.

Me: HAHA YES!

Shorty: Ok for Scotland I have Sean Connery.

Me: He’s from Scotland? WAAATTT.

Shorty: Haha yeah. Your turn.

Me: I don’t have any more.

Shorty: HAHA I have one more. Then I win already.

Me: Fine give it to me.

Shorty: Sir Alex Ferguson.

Me: AHHHH!!!!!!!

Shorty: HAHA I remember that he’s Scottish only because we heard him speak when we watched the Man Utd vs Swansea game last week.

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Me: Ok fine. I’m gonna give it to you. My turn… ALASKA!

Shorty: Hmm… Sarah Palin?

Me: ARRRRRGGGHHHHH FUUUUUKKKK THAT WAS THE ONE I GOT.

Shorty: HAHAHA TOO BAD. So now your turn. Who do you know from Alaska?

Me: Shit lah! Nobody else is from Alaska ah!! There’s nothing there except Lobsters.

Shorty: Lobsters are from Maine.

Me: Alaska also got what!

Shorty: Ok Germany.

Me: Hitler!

Shorty: AHHHHHH…..!!!

Me: Ok so who else?

Shorty: I know. The Holy Roman Emperor.

Me: WHAT?!?

Shorty: Yah… during the old days before Germany was Germany.

Me: WHAT RUBBISH.

Shorty: REALLY WAN!

Me: OK fine give you.

Shorty: Ok Denmark.

Me: Peter Gade.

Shorty: HAHA WHO IS THAT?? REAL WAN OR NOT!

Me: OF COS LAH! He’s the famous badminton player from Denmark.

Shorty: What kind of name is that? Sounds like Alligator!

Me: The real Peter Gade is going to be so pissed off at you if he knows you said that.

Shorty: Don’t know whether if really a real person or not. *suspicious*

May 13th, 2013

Update!

There is a reason to our sparse updates. Which is actually a good thing if you think about it. Cuz that means shorty and I have been busy going about doing baby moon stuff enjoying our trip.

It’s been really busy though. Yesterday shorty and I made a day trip to Manchester to watch the game at Old Trafford and by the time we got back it was so late. We just went straight to bed.

So here I am this Monday morning still laying in bed typing out this blog entry on my phone. Just to tell you guys we’re still around but have limited access to blogging. Tomorrow though we are heading to Paris and hopefully our hotel there would have wifi. Will find some time to put out a proper entry then. Until then, here’s a picture of shorty and me at the Manchester United game yesterday.

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